Helping Children Cope with Divorce


Divorce can be a stressful and scary time for children. Not only do they need to cope with the separation of their parents but they also need to adjust to a brand new lifestyle. It is up to you to help them through this transition. You want to make sure to stay consistent, communicative, and open about the whole divorce process. To help you with this, we have accumulated some advice on how to aid your children.

1. Prioritize Your Child’s Needs

In the process of divorce, it can be easy for your child to feel neglected or left out. Because focus can easily center on you and your ex, make sure to be aware of your child’s need. Make them feel important, loved, and most importantly, acknowledged.

2. Let Your Child Know They Are Loved

Because they do not fully understand divorce, children can sometimes place the blame on themselves. They can feel guilty and upset about their parents splitting up. Through this whole process, make sure you let your children know that it is not their fault and that they are loved. The feeling of acceptance and warmth will make this change much easier for them.

3. Have Back-Up Plans and Be Flexible

Although you may do your best to remain consistent, your ex might not. It would be a good idea to have alternative plans in place in case your ex does not show up. In a similar vein, be flexible with changing visitation times once in a while. Sometimes emergencies come up, so be willing to work with your ex about it.

4. Open Lines of Communication

Encourage your kids to open up about their feelings. Allow them to voice their disappointment, concerns, and anger. Listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. Sometimes they just need to be heard and know that they have a voice in all of this too.

5. Don’t Try to Malign Your Ex

In some divorce cases, the child becomes a pawn in trying to hurt the other spouse. Children are smart enough to realize this. Don’t fight in front of your kids and don’t use them. You do not want to add to their struggles.

6. Don’t Lie To Your Kids

Be honest about the living situation and what your child should expect after the divorce. Give them the facts and allow them to adjust. It doesn’t help anyone to lie to your kids about the circumstances. However, remember to use tact and don’t play the blame game.

7. Always Leave and Welcome Your Child with a Smile

A smile can be a powerful thing. Always greet and depart from your child with a smile. It will reassure them and tell them that they are welcome and loved.

Divorce is difficult and can be a confusing time. We hope these tips will help ease the transition for your children. If you plan to get a divorce, contact our experienced Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorney today for a free consultation.

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