Divorce can be a stressful and scary time for children. Not only do they
need to cope with the separation of their parents but they also need to
adjust to a brand new lifestyle. It is up to you to help them through
this transition. You want to make sure to stay consistent, communicative,
and open about the whole divorce process. To help you with this, we have
accumulated some advice on how to aid your children.
1. Prioritize Your Child’s Needs
In the process of divorce, it can be easy for your child to feel neglected
or left out. Because focus can easily center on you and your ex, make
sure to be aware of your child’s need. Make them feel important,
loved, and most importantly, acknowledged.
2. Let Your Child Know They Are Loved
Because they do not fully understand divorce, children can sometimes place
the blame on themselves. They can feel guilty and upset about their parents
splitting up. Through this whole process, make sure you let your children
know that it is not their fault and that they are loved. The feeling of
acceptance and warmth will make this change much easier for them.
3. Have Back-Up Plans and Be Flexible
Although you may do your best to remain consistent, your ex might not.
It would be a good idea to have alternative plans in place in case your
ex does not show up. In a similar vein, be flexible with changing visitation
times once in a while. Sometimes emergencies come up, so be willing to
work with your ex about it.
4. Open Lines of Communication
Encourage your kids to open up about their feelings. Allow them to voice
their disappointment, concerns, and anger. Listen to them and try to understand
where they are coming from. Sometimes they just need to be heard and know
that they have a voice in all of this too.
5. Don’t Try to Malign Your Ex
In some divorce cases, the child becomes a pawn in trying to hurt the other
spouse. Children are smart enough to realize this. Don’t fight in
front of your kids and don’t use them. You do not want to add to
6. Don’t Lie To Your Kids
Be honest about the living situation and what your child should expect
after the divorce. Give them the facts and allow them to adjust. It doesn’t
help anyone to lie to your kids about the circumstances. However, remember
to use tact and don’t play the blame game.
7. Always Leave and Welcome Your Child with a Smile
A smile can be a powerful thing. Always greet and depart from your child
with a smile. It will reassure them and tell them that they are welcome
Divorce is difficult and can be a confusing time. We hope these tips will
help ease the transition for your children. If you plan to get a divorce,
contact our experienced Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorneys today for a